There’s just something always funny about dad jokes. Whether it is embarrassing and at the same time cleverly hilarious, those remarks always seem to bring out that smile or bring out that groan to anyone’s face -and maybe a raised eyebrow in the eye-rolling business. Whether one-liners or puns that turn your head inside out, those have a tendency to make a soul laugh over something so ridiculous at times that was once truly innocent. Let’s share some laughs We’ve collected well over 70 of the greatest dad jokes ( lame jokes ) that will make you laugh your head off, even if you want to deny it. So sit back, relax, and get ready for some hilarious moments!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts! 💀🤣
What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved! 🌊👋
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack up! 🥚😂
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down! 📚🌌
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field! 🌾🏆
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta! 🍝😜
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out! 💔🏋️♂️
I would tell you a construction joke,
but I’m still working on it! 🏗️😂
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged! ☕🚓
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know Y! 🔤🤔
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot! 🥕🦜
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it! 🤧🕺
Why did the math book look sad?
It had too many problems! 📖➗😢
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese! 🧀😆
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere! 🌕🍽️
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it! 🐘🌳
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅👗
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick! 🌿😂
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot! 👃👣
What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time! ⏰👖
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised! 😲🎨
What did one wall say to the other?
I’ll meet you at the corner! 🧱🤝
Why don’t bananas ever get lonely?
Because they hang out in bunches! 🍌👯♂️
How do you organize a space party?
You planet! 🪐🎉
I’m on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it! 🦞🍽️
What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
1forest1! 🌲💻
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired! 🚲😴
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together! 🐧🏠
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator! 🐊🕵️♂️
I used to be addicted to soap,
but I’m clean now! 🧼😌
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything! ⚛️🤥
I told my computer I needed a break,
and now it won’t stop sending me cookies! 💻🍪
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison! 🦬👋
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one! ⛳👖
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin! 💀😌
Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
All the fans left! 🏟️🥵
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels! 🥯🦅
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite! ☃️🧛♂️
Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a water-melon! 🍉🏊♂️
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung! 🔔💩
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener! 🥫🙅♂️
What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream! 🎣📺
How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience! 🥒🥒
Why was the math teacher suspicious of the graph paper?
It seemed a little sketchy! 📉😏
How do cows stay up to date with the news?
They read the moos-paper! 🐄📰
Why did the picture go to jail?
It was framed! 🖼️🚔
Why don’t vampires like garlic?
It gives them bad blood! 🧛♀️🧄
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
“Hey, bud!” 🌻
Why was the broom late?
It swept in! 🧹⌛
Why are fish so smart?
They live in schools! 🐟🏫
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh! 🐠👀
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because he was stuffed! 🧸🍰
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers! 👟🕶️
Why did the banker switch careers?
He lost interest! 🏦😕
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut! 🌰🐿️
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish! 🦪🙅♂️
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
In case he got a hole in one! ⛳🧦
How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it! ☕😂
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks! 🐔🥁
What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here, I’ll go on ahead! 🎩👒
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
The living room! 💀🏠
How does a taco say grace?
Lettuce pray! 🌮🙏
Why did the farmer win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field! 🚜🏅
What do you call a fish who practices medicine?
A sturgeon! 🐟🩺
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired! 🚲😵
Why did the music teacher go to jail?
She got caught with too many notes! 🎶🚔
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad away! 🐸🚌
What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Nothing but let out a little wine! 🍇🍷
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus! 🦖📚
Why did the cat sit on the computer?
It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse! 🐱💻
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory! 🏭🤷♂️
Why did the notebook go to therapy?
It had too many issues! 📓😥
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it! 💧🔥
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye-deer! 🦌🙃
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts! 🐦💕
Why are elevator jokes so classic?
Because they work on many levels! 🛗😂
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
The trombone! 💀🎺
Why don’t koalas count as bears?
They don’t have the koalafications! 🐨😂
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for fresh prints! 👣🎤
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops! 💥😳
